“Away” in Maine

I have struggled over this final post about Maine and finally decided to just let it rip. I’m going to break it up in two pieces. If you want to learn about Boothbay, Maine, just read the first portion and close it out. If you want to hear about the most unfriendly state we have ever visited, read the whole thing. I can only say that this is of course, our opinion and even though I have validated with other people I’ve met, it’s still just our opinion,

Boothbay Harbor, Maine

We came to Boothbay/ Boothbay Harbor to attend a family wedding. I won’t add much about that except to say, what a beautiful and amazing setting for a wedding. Sitting in the church enjoying a beautiful ceremony and then seeing those big double doors open to a view of the harbor as the bride and groom walk out, is a sight I will never forget. Absolutely picture perfect!

Boothbay Harbor is a great little town right on the coast. Lots of shops, restaurants, galleries and I absolutely loved how many Made in Maine/America shops there were to explore. Yes, Homer is indeed packed tight with all my treasures! (Maybe a few of my sister in law’s too!)

The town itself is very walkable and we found parking easy to access and surprisingly, it was free. (Or we thought it was free and somehow didn’t manage to get a ticket! Lol!)

Pemaquid Point Lighthouse

One of our daytrips was out to Pemaquid Point lighthouse. One of 30 still active in the state. Before we arrived in Maine, I had this expectation of large rocks and cliffs sticking out into the ocean. The crashing of waves against the rocks and that most amazing sound of the water rushing in and out as it moves with the power of the moons and tides. Having not seen that up to this point, we hit the jackpot on our arrival. Wow!

It may have been a foggy day on our visit but that somehow seemed appropriate when visiting a lighthouse. This was our third lighthouse in Maine and by far our favorite. On most days, you can climb to the top of the tower. On our day, they were just opening it up as we were leaving and since it was so foggy, there wasn’t much to see, so we skipped it, but we had heard it was worth the climb on a sunny day.

The lighthouse museum was a nice walk through the building, and they had multiple exhibits dating back to the original lighthouse keepers. Informative and fun to see some of the old pictures. There’s a great little restaurant and gift shop on site. Our meal was delicious and there was a large selection of Maine souvenirs to peruse. Definitely worth a stop!

Coastal Maine Botanical Gardens

You know how you hear about a place and when you show up, you can’t quite decide if it will meet the hype? This one did. We had a “girl’s” day out and after shopping and a beautiful lunch looking out over the harbor, (sigh, could it be any more perfect sounding?), we hit the botanical gardens. The flowers are beautiful and were plentiful, even in August. Nice walking paths and for as many people as were there, we never felt like we were pushed or rushed to move along the paths. 600 acres to explore. This is definitely not a small place. Such a beautiful and peaceful stroll and then bang! A huge troll in the middle of the woods made from recycled materials. Definitely five of the coolest things I had ever seen.

The artist, Thomas Dambo, has built these trolls all over the world. I had no idea they even existed and after researching him, have found he actually has quite a few in Florida and all over the USA. Guess what I’ll be out looking for this winter?????? His work is actually very remarkable and amazing to see close up. If you want to learn more about him, check out the links below and the troll map to find some trolls of your own!

About – thomas dambo

Trollmap — By Thomas Dambo

Overall, our girl’s day left us tired, full of good food and wore out, but with huge smiles all over our faces. We all agreed it was a perfect day and would do it again in a heartbeat!

Maine Lingo:

Away: A non-native person or a person who doesn’t have roots going back three-plus generations. This person is lucky enough to visit Maine, but not to stay. (Your Guide to Maine Lingo | Best of | The Maine Magazine)

(Yes, this is the primary definition of being “Away” in Maine).

Dave and I visited Maine as our 36th state during our RV adventures. This was our ‘bucket list” trip. I’ve talked about how excited we were to come here as we both wanted to see this state and part of the USA. To date, the only states we haven’t visited, in the RV, are a few northeastern coastal states and the west coast of the US. We have met hundreds of people. Other campers, local people where we stop and shop, small business owners, service providers, healthcare, etc. You get the idea. 99.99% of the people we have met, have been friendly, will smile back when you smile at them, will introduce themselves when you introduce yourself, and generally will go out of their way to provide you with local information and guidance/help. We love this lifestyle and have enjoyed meeting so many amazing and interesting people.

We have found the exact opposite of that in Maine. I’m not talking any one place in particular. This attitude started in Bangor, followed us to Eastport, Calais, Lubec and was still there in Boothbay Harbor. Positive hat on – I still tried. Every shop/restaurant/gas station I enter, I always smile and try to engage. I have found most people will easily respond to me when I can provide a compliment upon first meeting them. “Your shop is adorable, and I love the items you carry”, “What a great idea to provide XXXX in your store”, “This area is so pretty. What’s one of your favorite places you like?”. You get the idea. I’m interested in learning about where we are and expanding my horizons. I’m not about just blowing smoke up someone’s #$%.

I try not to generalize an entire people by a few bad apples, but this attitude of bad manners, little to no engagement and a stink eye that can drop you to your knees, is one I have not experienced ever before by sooooooo many people. Doesn’t matter, I keep trying. The times I could get engagement from a shop owner, or someone in the area, I would ask them where they were from, and it was always “Away”. As in a different state and they had moved to Maine. The native “Mainers” I would try to engage in conversation would not look me in the eye, or if they did, there would be no smile. There seemed to be an attitude of “You are from away and we wish you would do exactly that. Go back to your away.”

Am I imaging this? We are here about 4 weeks and Dave thinks I am taking this all too personally and he’s probably right. I don’t have a thin skin, but continued negativity is not something I deal with very well. I was curious what my other family members would experience when they arrived. I said nothing before they showed up. Would they see the same thing, or was I really just taking this to personally? Wouldn’t you know it, same thing. No smiles engaging upon entry to a store or service unless the people were from “away”. Restaurants were the same. Good food, good service, not a smile unless they were there from “away”. OK, enough whining about it.

What I wish I had known is how prevalent this “attitude” and just general stink eye is to this state before I arrived. Not sure I would have done anything different, but it somehow feels better knowing “Away” people are all treated the same. My advice to anyone coming to this state is to just accept it and stick with your own “away” people. It will make the trip easier and while you may not learn as much, you’ll definitely have a better time knowing this is typical of the Mainer’s culture.

To sum up our overall experience in Maine. FIVE glorious weeks of sunrises, sunsets and beach combing. Fog so thick you can’t tell where the water ends, and the sky begins. Sea glass, mussel shells, driftwood and an urge to create beauty from found objects that I am still carrying with me. (Literally! It’s all packed in Homer).

The salt tang of the air, the forests so thick you can only see into them a few feet. Lighthouses, crashing waves and a sense of hardworking men and women just trying to provide for their families. Small communities and narrow roads. Never knowing what the next bend in the road will display once you are around it and being surprised at the beauty each time. Yes, Maine is magical. We couldn’t be happier we made this trip. This was a once in a lifetime adventure for both of us and worth every minute and stink eye. I will only say that as we hit the New Hampshire border headed back south, I swear the people in the cars on the freeway next to us, smiled right back even while sitting in stop and go traffic.

See ya on the road,

Dave and Theresa

Thanks for reading about our latest adventure. What did you think?